Gee… i really haven’t made a tumble in quite some time… I don’t know… i was tired of posting borderline emo tumbles and just being a sad duck… Tumblr was just an outlet to me about how much pain and what troubles were on my mind.  But i should see it as PTL and a place for all the thoughts and issues of my mind to just emanate and reside as a permanent hyperlink that i can come back to at some point in life and just be like “oooh so that’s what i was thinking…” not where i will go back and see pain and just my sadness as i come before the Lord.

There’s a lot of things on my mind and I really just feel like I’m the one that’s being wronged, but in reality there is nothing to truly feel wronged about.  Just think about all the “Have’s” in this world that we are all granted… we live in like the top 10% of the world… not in the US but the world…it’s truly amazing and to have something humble us… it’s really a much needed check.  This whole summer since 6/13 when a huge mistake and really a blessing even though it has led to a whole tumult of pain, problems, stress, iniquity, and price has to this point and still not yet concluded has occupied my whole life…. i can’t say i’ve been free this summer and it will not stop… i don’t know when it will but i am thankful to be humbled and every time i pray to God and ask him “why? and why can’t it just be simpler…” i just remember how blessed i am and where i am.  PTL for each and every moment that you have and that you are truly blessed.

Each breath that you take and can exhale should taste sweeter then the last and don’t just do it to survive… do it to live.  Look at what you see in the day to really notice how glorious it is to percieve shapes, colors, contrast, and the beauty of the day… don’t just do it to look at what’s there… do it to look at the world.  Don’t just percieve the smells that enter your nostrils and connect to a certain “je ne sais quoi” in your mind… but how amazing it is that the chemicals can reach receptors and that you have the ability to truly experience the scents of the world.  Hear the sounds of the day and really realize how amazing it is that you can listen to the sweet music of outside.  To touch and feel all the world and that you can communicate with all that surrounds you and feel it’s touch.

Don’t feel wronged… be right in the world and happy.  I’m glad i have my brother who is coming toward God and wants to be saved and walk with the Lord… PTL.  I have a mother who loves and cares for me and just wants the best, even though I want her heart to be softened to accept the Lord… PTL.  I have a father who’s love is misplaced but i know it’s there who started me off with the Lord… PTL.  I have a girlfriend who cares deeply about me, walks with me in the Lord, and is more than anything a man could ever ask for… PTL.  I have friends which are here to help, here to offer, here to spend life with, here to be in my life, here to make life enjoyable by a thousand fold… PTL.  I have God